No. I am not ok

I’ve been meaning to write about a different topic about WebRTC, but somehow, this was more important.

There’s a war going on here where I live between Israel and Hamas. Or Israel and Gaza. Or Israel and the Palestiniens. Or Israel and Iran’s proxies. Or Israel and muslim extremists.

Or all of the above if we’re frank with ourselves.

We haven’t invited this war or wanted it, but it is what we need to face and deal with.

Others are explaining the situation better than I can on social media sites and in english. Here is one such example:

To those of you who reached out to me asking if I am ok, if me and my family are safe, I answered that we’re ok’ish mostly.

Well… I am not ok.

• At least 700 were brutally murdered
  • Many of them civilians
  • Many of them babies, children, women and the elderly
  • Some of them are muslims (usually through rockets)
  • Some of them foreigners here in Israel - working, living or just visiting
• Over 260 were butchered in an outdoor party. Many of them teenagers and young adults
• The number of murdered is likely to raise above 1,000
  • At the size of Israel, this is bigger than 9/11 or pearl harbor event
  • It is a huge milestone and likely a turning point
• Over 5,000 rockets have been fired on Israeli cities (might be more - might be less - who’s counting anymore?)
• There are more than 100 kidnapped Israelis in Gaza now. Taken from their homes in Israel. Again - babies, children, women and elderly among them
• Israeli parents and families still don’t know where their loved one are
  • Are they wounded somewhere?
  • Are they dead?
  • Were they kidnapped and taken into Gaza?
  • Are they being abused? Raped? Decapitated?
  • Some find out from social media
    • A story about people seeing their family members on live videos
    • An elderly woman whose family found out she was murdered because the murderer decided to take a photo of her and publish it on her Facebook account
  • My Facebook is filled with photos of missing family members. Mostly kids and young adults
• This is all for the world to see right there on social media if one cares to look at war crimes and atrocities committed by Hamas while the Gazans, Palestinitens and other extremist muslims across the globe cheer and gloat (again - directly on social media - just go and watch)
• These aren’t human beings. These are monsters

I. Am. Not. Ok.

• Yes. Physically, I am fine. We live at the center of Israel in relative safety at the moment
• Everything is relative in life
• We came back from a two week vacation in the US a day before the war started
• Yesterday, I went to the supermarket to buy supplies - we’re short on everything
• In the elevator I met a neighbor coming out. We greeted each other with “hi”. He noted that we don’t say “good morning” anymore. I agreed. We left without the so common “have a great day” greeting
• The supermarket was big and full of people for a Sunday morning
• It was also totally quiet. If you know Israelis, you know we’re a loud bunch. None of it took place there
• Everyone looked shell shocked and subdued on the outside. Looking more closely, you could see purpose. A parent telling his 20-year old child he wants to be called to the war - saying that while he is old, he wants to participate and help in any way he can
• A person near the cash registers, asking people to donate food and stuff to take to the soldiers
• And me? I consider myself sharp minded and grounded. I couldn’t find my shopping cart each time I went hunting for things to buy. Over and over again. I even came back and almost took a different cart to the astonishment of the pregnant lady and her husband standing next to it. Where was my mind wondering? Each and every time

No. I am not ok.

• We have two kids. Teenagers
• My son was on overdrive on the first day of the war. Hyperactive
  • Probably in an attempt to process things
  • That curbed down by the end of the day, and now he is silent and subdued
  • Buries himself in his video games and his drawings
• My daughter, ever the silent type, stayed silent
  • She went to sleep on that first day, telling me that one of her best friend’s brothers was likely injured and his parents are rushing to the hospital
  • She woke up the next morning reading his name on a website as one of the first people announced dead. Murdered. Only 19 years old
  • Before we could tell her the news as we heard it through the parents
  • She spent the rest of yesterday going back and forth with the rest of her friends to that friend's home. She will likely do that the rest of the week
  • At the age of 16, she is now experiencing grief. Seeing it in the face. Seeing parents bury their murdered child
  • What can I do with such reality?
• And me and my wife? We trudge along, each with his own way of dealing with it
• Thinking if and when to do what
  • Is it the right time to shower or should we wait? Sirens and all
  • Should we take our kids to this activity or that, or just cancel it for now
  • And if our kids need to go somewhere, should we go along with them, for the good that will do, or not
  • Is it enough to just close the door to the Mamad, or do we need to add an element that won’t let murdering palestinians open it from the outside while we’re inside?
  • Mundane daily thoughts and decisions we need to make here
• It is hard to sleep at night
  • Not sure it has anything to do with a jet lag coming back from the US and the 10 hour difference
  • Or is it just the weird situation we’re in
  • Probably that second option

I am not ok.

• We had sirens here. 5 of them so far I think. Not really counting
• Each time, this means running to our Mamad. Every house and apartment in Israel has such a thing if it were built in the last 20+ years
  • This is a room that is built differently than the rest of the house
  • It has concrete walls and ceiling
  • A bomb shelter door and window made of heavy iron
  • Complete with the ability to ceil it up for chemical weapons if needed
• This room is also my home office. If you’ve seen any of my videos or met me virtually, then you’ve seen this room
• The window there is now closed. There’s no point in opening it up until this is all over
• Once, I had to run in from a neighbor’s apartment, where we discussed matters related to the building. A decision I had to make - should I go stay in their Mamad or run home to be with my family so they worry a wee bit less
• We had a rocket fall a few 100’s of meters from our place. On the road. No one was wounded. We heard it really well

I am not ok.

• There’s an iron dome battery somewhere close. A few kilometers away I assume
• When it fires rockets we feel it and then we hear it
• It might be followed with a siren or not, depending on where the likely missiles are about to hit
• Then you hear the intercepts or the falling missiles. They sound different

I am not ok.

• We live next to a hospital. It is located some 2 kilometers from our place
• In the last two days, I’ve seen my share of military helicopters coming in and out, moving severely wounded people around as they spread them across hospitals in Israel

I am not ok.

• Hamas and the Palestinians are busy killing as many jews as they can indiscriminately
• Our government and legal system are bickering over the legality of stopping supplying electricity to Gaza. We give them life while they give us death
• What stupid world are we living in?

Physically? I am fine.

The rest? Not so much

-

If you know me or have been to this site before, then you know a bit about Israelis already.

We are here to create and innovate. To bring good to the world and to improve things.

In the 10+ years I’ve been running this blog, I shared my thoughts and helped my industry as much as I could. Many times, not asking for anything in return. It is what I do.

Two years ago, me and my other Israeli co-founders sold testRTC. Ever since I’ve been asking myself what I should do next.

One of my dreams recently has been to start teaching. Kids. Older ones. Show them the world of technology and entrepreneurship and what is possible. Be a mentor. Raise the next generation of creativity and innovation of Israelis.

I believe Israelis are a net positive to the world.

I act like this every day. I teach my kids in that way. I see that the floundering and ill equipped education system we have here in Israel does the same. There is no hatred in our teachings or in the way we raise our kids.

-

Palestiniens. Hamas. Extremist muslims.

How can they slaughter kids in cold blood? Murder whole families? Kill without discrimination whole communities? Then go and show it to the world on social media. And then praise it and celebrate on the streets.

This is inhumane.

In many ways, I see them as a net negative to the world.

I just can’t see it otherwise at the moment.

-

People who ask me what they can do to help - nothing. And everything.

Our dysfunctional government will find a way to help, and until then, the civilians here and the soldiers will figure it out. We always do. We don’t have a choice.

I don’t really need anything from you. We’re Israelis. We’ll survive. We have done so ever since the holocaust and we know we can only depend on ourselves. So thanks for asking, but I don’t need a thing at the moment.

• The solidarity flags and colors lighting places across the globe? That’s useless. Sorry
• You’ll switch gears over there saying we shouldn’t kill Palestiniens soon enough
• All the while having your governments (at least some of them) continue to fund the Palestiniens in one way or another, just ending up fueling their war against us

Here’s a few picks from the news:

• UK: Nir Bitton hits out at 'brainwashed' Celtic fans' Palestine banners
• Germany: German citizens are celebrating the butchering and kidnapping of Jewish people in Israel
• US: Yosef Haddad, on The New York Times headlines (He is an Israeli Arab Christian. Follow him if you are interested in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict)

What can you do?

Understand that there aren’t really two sides to this story.

This conflict isn’t symmetrical in any way. It is between people who want to live and people who want to kill and ruin.

If you don’t believe me, then just go on social media and see what the Palestinians are doing. How they parade dead Israeli soldiers, small kids and elderly on the streets of Gaza for all their people to see and enjoy. This is the 21st century.

So no. I am not ok.

We will prevail. And in the meantime, I will be working. Different than usual, but still working. Still making my small and modest contribution to the world. Trying to touch and better those I interact with.